It is universally believed that to cure a sickness one must acknowledge first the presence of the sickness. However, everyone these days seem to be allergic to the word "sin" and do not find it relevant to our "changing times". Unfortunately, the word has come to bear the grudge of those who have either failed to understand and accept the unadulterated meaning of sin, those who have willingly thrown caution to the wind, and those who are victims of exploited judgement of religious and segragational authority. Then again, one must also question the 'absolute' and common claims that : "mankind is essentially good" and ''there is no right or wrong, it all depends on your situation" in light of the crumbling, disappointing realities of humanity, both personally as well as historically.
Louis Kronenberger, noted author, critic, novelist and biographer of the 20th Century has illuminated that "one of the misfortunes of our time is that in getting rid of false shame, we have killed off so much real shame as well". We have developed a habit that I call 'convenient tolerance' where we excuse and ignore the need to call sin, sin. As a result sin begins to resemble a sticky crayon stuck unawares in the folds of a spotless white sofa, spreading out its stain slowly within the folds while we are too busy entertaining and wondering if there is any spinach stuck in our teeth. That is why, often at the dawn of wrinkles, poor sex life and a mid life crisis, questions regarding peace, consistent happiness, and meaningfulness of life creep into the mind of the happy-go-lucky. Some people of course, in their magnetic vibrancy move forward, patting their backs like the champions of our times singing "I did it my way"... never asking these questions till perhaps it's too late. Don't be a fool to that charade. He is not acting to be strong, he is conditioning himself to be strong. I dread the rare but heartfelt moments of loneliness and dispair, when he gets a glimpse of his own self and waits for it to pass as if there's nothing more to life's sorrows than the robotic sweeping away of its contents. Even Oscar Wilde, celebrated by many as a justification of reckless passion had admittedly suffered the agony of repentance, openly aknowledging the torment of his sexual choices. The time between his release from jail in May of 1897 and his death on November 28,1900 was spent in anonymity in Europe, hungering for the wholeness of spiritual reconciliation with God. First gradually and then suddenly, he humbly succumbed to the beautiful, peace bringing, life giving re-start given by his personal Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Yet many still sight him for the partial delusions of his life, rejecting the more solid, redeeming facts of his life. This partial acceptance of sin is mirrored in the common view of Jesus. Many salute the empirical evidence of His blameless life, but pull the breaks when it comes to His divinity. A man that is called a "great teacher", is automatically labelled as a "liar" or a "lunatic"(1). For questioning His claim to divinity is questioning His honesty. No one feels comfortable questioning his celebrated moral of honesty yet in rejecting his origin they do exactly that.
This pattern of partial acceptance emerges again in the acknowledgement of sin, as it is relevent to the present times and our practical lives. Men and women tend to think the word is too harsh. At the most, grieved and bewildered by the atrocities of human behaviour that is constantly reported in the news, some might still concede and use the term for the more prominent ghastly transgressions. As G.K Chesterson once said "Men do not differ much about what things they call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable." This is easily distinguishable in the case of murder, rape, corruption. However, much of sin creeps in where the subtleties of superficial and temporary freedom blind our faithless reason. Much damage is done in the quest for love. Promiscuity, even marital infidelity, is not clearly labelled as sin anymore. The simplest and all encompassing definition of sin is disobeying God. In spite of the repetitive patterns of bewildering horror in this world, the average modern man will think twice before calling it sin. In doing so they would have to aknowledge God and also put their individual lives under that same microscope.
Another reason why men and women are allergic to the word sin is the idea of judgement that is entailed to it. Their egoes would much rather design their own gods to fit their level of comfort, and of course a God that grows more liberal with time. Tupac Shakur's famous tattoo "Only God can judge me'" has a ring of truth and also a tinge of defiance. We tend to look at the immediate spectrum of consequences and base our responsibilities on that limited vision. Tupac's tattoo, like many others' celebrate the custom built ideal of "Doesn't matter what I do, as long as I have a good heart". Yes and No. God does see our heart, better than anyone else. Jesus explicitly demonstrated that judging others was a sin by itself and to that effect yes, only God can judge you. But this blessing also comes with a responsibility. As C.S. Lewis illustrates, wrong does not correct itself with time. A mistake in a mathemetical problem does not correct itself by continuing with that line of working. You have to stop, go back and start again(2). When a woman was brought to Jesus for commiting adultery, He said to the testing crowd, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." One can feel the spirit of every human rising at that statement. A giant pat on our backs. But are we ignoring the words Jesus utters at the end of this discourse? When all the men are convicted by their conscience and leave, without condemning the woman, He turns to her and says "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more". While he condemns man on man judgement, He explicitly stresses on the discontinuation of sin, post mercy.
Some objects are too big, and the stains on them too deep and too tough to wash with your own resources. Some stains can only be removed by the trusted launderer (and everyone is only too familiar with the big hefty laundry bill and the proverbial hole in the pocket). Sadly, some stains are such that even the best launderer cannot completely eradicate that faint shadow of the spill without defying the laws of chemistry. There is only one Person who can remove even that shadowy darkness, against all laws of chemistry and physics. What we find so hard to believe is that Jesus will do that for you, for free. And why should we trust Him in this matter? Well the evidence is numerous but suffice to say, He is an expert in the field of temptation. Hebrews 4:15 says he was tempted in "every" way, yet was without sin. Luke 4:13 says that after the devil had finished tempting Jesus in "every" possible way, he left him until another time. He overcame temptation of every kind and understands the torment of every temptation. Of course, to apply this comfort and inspiration to our lives we must first acknowledge the sickness, keeping in mind what Kevin Spacey's character in "Usual Suspects'' points out: "the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist".
(1) from 'Lord, Liar, Lunatic' in C.S.Lewis' "Mere Christianity".
(2) from C.S.Lewis' "Great Divorce".
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Death, and How to Cheat.
"All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another."
-Meditation XVII, John Donne
"Cheat death,” says the hot pink billboard. "Beat back the hands of time” says my face cream. Though I am all about staying away from wrinkles I find it hard not to admit that there was no deep satisfaction or success in "cheating death". It must be a factory defect but unlike what the girl on TV said, that new skirt did not make me feel any more invincible than I already was or wasn't. But let us leave the poor advertisement aside and think of the juvenile but hearty expression, "life is an ice cream, enjoy it while it lasts". We grow up with dreams and ambitions. Our want never ends and one could argue that there is nothing wrong with wanting a rich exciting life. Advertising sells only what we want to buy and it seems like we are most interested in dealing with death as quickly and as neatly as possible. It is quite rude to bring up the subject matter at the dinner table unless it involves some sad or shocking detail, enough to make you think "thank god it wasn't me". I will not be so presumptuous as to generalise, I will only talk of my experience. Everyone around me is rushing to have "too much fun". Sex and the City makes it abundantly clear that this is a time and place where not only can a woman choose her own posse of sexual casualties but she can also laugh about it with her girlfriends at the bar. If the collective of women went through centuries of unjustified gender discrimination then this is reverse discrimination in its worst form. A form that is eventually self-destructive. And if you have any doubt about my criticism coming from a sanctimonious pedestal then be rest assured. Look closely at my past life and dare to call it what it is and you will see sin written all over it, well, most of it. I was one of those who sought that kind of physical gratification. One of the reasons this happens is a fear of commitment, age and death. I am not surprised. An Atheist believes there is nothing after death. That we are all but descended from monkeys and monkeys we will be. Poof, we will disappear into nothingness. No wonder then one wants to have as much fun as possible.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but what happens here on Earth comes home with us. Of course we are entitled to a good time. Of course we should climb as many mountains as we want to before we die, take that road trip, jump out of an airplane, sail, swim, surf. Smell the roses. He didn't create this phenomenal ecosystem for us to suffer deprivation and sacrifice. However, we do know what is good, clean fun and what are twisted power trips. Somewhere deep down we know. If not theoretically then from the fact that, that kind of fun usually never satiates our hunger.
Our liberties have the power to delude our reason. We end up making idols of ourselves and our opinions. Idols of our education and our bodies. No wonder, we are so often unable to differentiate love from lust. No wonder, we are unable to enjoy the freedom of being able to tell "right" from "wrong", becoming slaves to an absolute policy of "to each his own". The loophole in this kind of worship, is that idols, have a very finite life. We secretly fear death and associate old age with boredom, responsibility and the end of our current pleasures. As a result, in cyclical fashion, we get even more determined to justify the fulfilling of our temptations.
There is a difference between the way we treat a holiday hotel room and (hopefully) the way we treat our home. The former is a no strings attached, short-term affair. You are paying big money for housekeeping and room service. With the latter, you keep on track with leaks in the roof, mortgage, and insurance. In case you spill soda on the carpet, you know you will have to clean up the mess yourself and possibly end up with a permanent stain. If you are to believe that men are just vessels of chemistry, with no spirit, with no origin of God, that we will disappear into nothingness after death, and that everything Christ says is a lie,
then go ahead treat your life like a hotel room. Overdo the room service, watch the pay-per-view, have a brain numbingly good time, heck, if it’s your thing even call that hooker. But if you believe that we are sons and daughters of God and to Him we shall return, that Christ had put himself on the cross to give us eternal life-if you believe in that everlasting life, then treat your life like a home.
We do not have to abandon desire. Often, people think of Christians as these stolid martyrs. But if you are true to the heart of Christ, then you will agree that we are essentially creatures made of deep desire and passion. In the second letter to the church of Corinth, Paul writes, "See what this Godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done." (2 Cor 7:11) Will you not agree that such words could only come from a place of deep passionate desire? It is not important how many times we fall on the way. It does not matter how wobbly our steps are. He knows. If you sincerely feel love for Him, if you sincerely care, He will know. As George MacDonald brings to our attention, every father is pleased at the baby's first attempt to walk: no father would be satisfied with anything less than a firm, free, manly walk in a grown-up son.
If we have an eternal relationship with God then it is only natural that there will be rest. That confusing hunger will be satisfied in the end. No amount of "transcendental" sex and giggly drinking binges will kill that hunger. Not even a completely righteous, moral life-plan will do it. It will have to be love. Immense love, adoration, trust and an unrestrained friendship with God.
When Jesus runs into the Samaritan woman at the well, he knows that in spite of the five husbands she has had, and the sixth man she is living with, she is still thirsty. He says to her "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." At her disbelief and confusion, He goes on to say, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
-Meditation XVII, John Donne
"Cheat death,” says the hot pink billboard. "Beat back the hands of time” says my face cream. Though I am all about staying away from wrinkles I find it hard not to admit that there was no deep satisfaction or success in "cheating death". It must be a factory defect but unlike what the girl on TV said, that new skirt did not make me feel any more invincible than I already was or wasn't. But let us leave the poor advertisement aside and think of the juvenile but hearty expression, "life is an ice cream, enjoy it while it lasts". We grow up with dreams and ambitions. Our want never ends and one could argue that there is nothing wrong with wanting a rich exciting life. Advertising sells only what we want to buy and it seems like we are most interested in dealing with death as quickly and as neatly as possible. It is quite rude to bring up the subject matter at the dinner table unless it involves some sad or shocking detail, enough to make you think "thank god it wasn't me". I will not be so presumptuous as to generalise, I will only talk of my experience. Everyone around me is rushing to have "too much fun". Sex and the City makes it abundantly clear that this is a time and place where not only can a woman choose her own posse of sexual casualties but she can also laugh about it with her girlfriends at the bar. If the collective of women went through centuries of unjustified gender discrimination then this is reverse discrimination in its worst form. A form that is eventually self-destructive. And if you have any doubt about my criticism coming from a sanctimonious pedestal then be rest assured. Look closely at my past life and dare to call it what it is and you will see sin written all over it, well, most of it. I was one of those who sought that kind of physical gratification. One of the reasons this happens is a fear of commitment, age and death. I am not surprised. An Atheist believes there is nothing after death. That we are all but descended from monkeys and monkeys we will be. Poof, we will disappear into nothingness. No wonder then one wants to have as much fun as possible.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but what happens here on Earth comes home with us. Of course we are entitled to a good time. Of course we should climb as many mountains as we want to before we die, take that road trip, jump out of an airplane, sail, swim, surf. Smell the roses. He didn't create this phenomenal ecosystem for us to suffer deprivation and sacrifice. However, we do know what is good, clean fun and what are twisted power trips. Somewhere deep down we know. If not theoretically then from the fact that, that kind of fun usually never satiates our hunger.
Our liberties have the power to delude our reason. We end up making idols of ourselves and our opinions. Idols of our education and our bodies. No wonder, we are so often unable to differentiate love from lust. No wonder, we are unable to enjoy the freedom of being able to tell "right" from "wrong", becoming slaves to an absolute policy of "to each his own". The loophole in this kind of worship, is that idols, have a very finite life. We secretly fear death and associate old age with boredom, responsibility and the end of our current pleasures. As a result, in cyclical fashion, we get even more determined to justify the fulfilling of our temptations.
There is a difference between the way we treat a holiday hotel room and (hopefully) the way we treat our home. The former is a no strings attached, short-term affair. You are paying big money for housekeeping and room service. With the latter, you keep on track with leaks in the roof, mortgage, and insurance. In case you spill soda on the carpet, you know you will have to clean up the mess yourself and possibly end up with a permanent stain. If you are to believe that men are just vessels of chemistry, with no spirit, with no origin of God, that we will disappear into nothingness after death, and that everything Christ says is a lie,
then go ahead treat your life like a hotel room. Overdo the room service, watch the pay-per-view, have a brain numbingly good time, heck, if it’s your thing even call that hooker. But if you believe that we are sons and daughters of God and to Him we shall return, that Christ had put himself on the cross to give us eternal life-if you believe in that everlasting life, then treat your life like a home.
We do not have to abandon desire. Often, people think of Christians as these stolid martyrs. But if you are true to the heart of Christ, then you will agree that we are essentially creatures made of deep desire and passion. In the second letter to the church of Corinth, Paul writes, "See what this Godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done." (2 Cor 7:11) Will you not agree that such words could only come from a place of deep passionate desire? It is not important how many times we fall on the way. It does not matter how wobbly our steps are. He knows. If you sincerely feel love for Him, if you sincerely care, He will know. As George MacDonald brings to our attention, every father is pleased at the baby's first attempt to walk: no father would be satisfied with anything less than a firm, free, manly walk in a grown-up son.
If we have an eternal relationship with God then it is only natural that there will be rest. That confusing hunger will be satisfied in the end. No amount of "transcendental" sex and giggly drinking binges will kill that hunger. Not even a completely righteous, moral life-plan will do it. It will have to be love. Immense love, adoration, trust and an unrestrained friendship with God.
When Jesus runs into the Samaritan woman at the well, he knows that in spite of the five husbands she has had, and the sixth man she is living with, she is still thirsty. He says to her "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." At her disbelief and confusion, He goes on to say, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Go God!
Often, I am asked by those who knew me in a different life, "why Christianity?" In a world where the counter effects of extreme freedom of choices is balanced by an extremely determined pursuit of happiness, the self-help isle and Yoga, it is imporant for me as a born again Christian to emphasise that this is not a result of any pursuit on my part. Neither did I "pursue" it nor did any individual sell it to me.
It was a matter of burning, and cliche of cliches through the purification and shock of that burning came death and through death, new life. I was never doubtful of the existence of a Creator, our Maker. Both my upbringing as well as my education led me to intellectualize His existence and often I wrote smug poetry about how He was a mass of energy that fueled all physicality of existence. This worked very well with both parties. Everyone was happy with my mode of thinking and as a result I was happy. My attention to Him depended on my mood and beside thanking Him for my good fortune I credited all learning and growth to my own merits. My choices were oblivious of His judgement. I always defended my beliefs by declaring, rather too carelessly, that He would love me no matter what choice I made, no matter how many people I slept with or how many hearts I broke, how many times I swore at my earthly parents or how provoking or unforgiving I was in my friendships. Ironically and sadly I was right. He did love me no matter what choices I made but like a parent I am sure He wasn't happy with the choices I made.
This kind of non-commital relationship to someone who is in truth the most self-less, the most loving, the most graceful and the most understanding person, results in only one thing. Your self-credited strength fades like vapour at the mouth of crisis. And I don't mean the kind of crisis where you can engage your emotional faculties in resistence to and understanding of the crisis. I am talking about the kind of crisis where despair looms silently above your head like a dark heavy cloud and you feel like you are the last person on earth. The kind where you find yourself tired of everything that you ever wished for. Where that dull aching reality can only be relieved by some form of reckless passion.
Through a series of curious incidents my old self thankfully suffered a death. Why and how, if you care, you better ask Him. All I know is that here on Earth, hanging off of the curve of this massive globe at the mercy of a divine gravity, I was experiencing redemption and sight.
When Jesus said that the only way to know the Father is through the Son He must have meant that time and again He would have to come into hearts like mine and fill us with the warmth of His presence and lift the mirror up to our Father in Heaven. My turbulent hot and cold relationship with God was, first gradually and then suddenly, overtaken by something else. I now understood for the first time something of the perfect nature of God. And if ever you have any doubt you only need to look at the picture of his Son, only hear what He said and how He conducted himself on this Earth, to know how gentle and how strong He really is. How loving, selfless and full of grace He is. You only need to reach out your hand to Him and He will take care of the rest. And here's a man who never ever breaks a promise. It's just not His style. Na ah.
In my past life, I thought He was someone to go to when things went wrong, or someone to give a high-five to when things went right. I thought He put us through tests and if you passed He'd give you a star. I never realised that the most essential truth is that He is our true maker, our original parent. And no good parent is indifferent to his/her child. It's not a matter of evolutionary jargon, it is love. It is a bond. To forget that or ignore that, to replace that with futile idol worship and no knowledge of His nature is a blind blind obsession. That is not love. That is a plain faith and a dependence on something unknown. Fortunately, it doesn't need to be this way. Fortunately for us there is truth, there is life and there is a way. Can you imagine, we have "access"?!!
There was a time when my one and only priority was to enjoy thoroughly my identity, my wit, my ability to say whatever was on my mind, my ability to rebel and to recover. I was completely consumed by the passions, by my sense of self... a bogus concern. Now, I did as Jesus asked me to do. I threw away my life. And like he promised I gained it. In losing my identity, I gained it. And this time it was real. Better, more honest, more striving, more failing, more over-coming, but it was real. As George McDonald has said "For God is the heritage of the soul of origin. Man is the offspring of his making will, of his very life. God himself is man's birthplace. God is the self that maks the soul able to say, I too, am." Anyone who has been made to feel complete by falling in love or was picked up from the ditches by some kind of saving love will understand this. Imagine how much more He will make us complete, how much more the effect of the 'picking-up'. How much more earth-rocking and inspiring this Love that is God!
It was a matter of burning, and cliche of cliches through the purification and shock of that burning came death and through death, new life. I was never doubtful of the existence of a Creator, our Maker. Both my upbringing as well as my education led me to intellectualize His existence and often I wrote smug poetry about how He was a mass of energy that fueled all physicality of existence. This worked very well with both parties. Everyone was happy with my mode of thinking and as a result I was happy. My attention to Him depended on my mood and beside thanking Him for my good fortune I credited all learning and growth to my own merits. My choices were oblivious of His judgement. I always defended my beliefs by declaring, rather too carelessly, that He would love me no matter what choice I made, no matter how many people I slept with or how many hearts I broke, how many times I swore at my earthly parents or how provoking or unforgiving I was in my friendships. Ironically and sadly I was right. He did love me no matter what choices I made but like a parent I am sure He wasn't happy with the choices I made.
This kind of non-commital relationship to someone who is in truth the most self-less, the most loving, the most graceful and the most understanding person, results in only one thing. Your self-credited strength fades like vapour at the mouth of crisis. And I don't mean the kind of crisis where you can engage your emotional faculties in resistence to and understanding of the crisis. I am talking about the kind of crisis where despair looms silently above your head like a dark heavy cloud and you feel like you are the last person on earth. The kind where you find yourself tired of everything that you ever wished for. Where that dull aching reality can only be relieved by some form of reckless passion.
Through a series of curious incidents my old self thankfully suffered a death. Why and how, if you care, you better ask Him. All I know is that here on Earth, hanging off of the curve of this massive globe at the mercy of a divine gravity, I was experiencing redemption and sight.
When Jesus said that the only way to know the Father is through the Son He must have meant that time and again He would have to come into hearts like mine and fill us with the warmth of His presence and lift the mirror up to our Father in Heaven. My turbulent hot and cold relationship with God was, first gradually and then suddenly, overtaken by something else. I now understood for the first time something of the perfect nature of God. And if ever you have any doubt you only need to look at the picture of his Son, only hear what He said and how He conducted himself on this Earth, to know how gentle and how strong He really is. How loving, selfless and full of grace He is. You only need to reach out your hand to Him and He will take care of the rest. And here's a man who never ever breaks a promise. It's just not His style. Na ah.
In my past life, I thought He was someone to go to when things went wrong, or someone to give a high-five to when things went right. I thought He put us through tests and if you passed He'd give you a star. I never realised that the most essential truth is that He is our true maker, our original parent. And no good parent is indifferent to his/her child. It's not a matter of evolutionary jargon, it is love. It is a bond. To forget that or ignore that, to replace that with futile idol worship and no knowledge of His nature is a blind blind obsession. That is not love. That is a plain faith and a dependence on something unknown. Fortunately, it doesn't need to be this way. Fortunately for us there is truth, there is life and there is a way. Can you imagine, we have "access"?!!
There was a time when my one and only priority was to enjoy thoroughly my identity, my wit, my ability to say whatever was on my mind, my ability to rebel and to recover. I was completely consumed by the passions, by my sense of self... a bogus concern. Now, I did as Jesus asked me to do. I threw away my life. And like he promised I gained it. In losing my identity, I gained it. And this time it was real. Better, more honest, more striving, more failing, more over-coming, but it was real. As George McDonald has said "For God is the heritage of the soul of origin. Man is the offspring of his making will, of his very life. God himself is man's birthplace. God is the self that maks the soul able to say, I too, am." Anyone who has been made to feel complete by falling in love or was picked up from the ditches by some kind of saving love will understand this. Imagine how much more He will make us complete, how much more the effect of the 'picking-up'. How much more earth-rocking and inspiring this Love that is God!
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